For whatever reason I find that the holiday season always makes me eager to finish all the projects I have started and to begin the projects I have been dying to start for much longer than I wish to admit. For some people, spring motivates them to change their wardrobe, assess their jobs, travel, clean closets (eek!), but for me that season is winter. I’m not a fan of winter. Winter and I deal with one another and we kind of have an unspoken agreement. I don’t curse out snow and in return it doesn’t give me frostbite or break my limbs (I’m very clumsy all on my own, thank you!). But for some reason with the drastic change in seasons come drastic changes of my own. Every time it gets cold I dream of travel and now it’s become so automatic that I even know just when it’s going to snow too. I typically dream of London around this time. I have never been, but have dreamt of going since I was young. It is in my blood and I need to go soon. Anyway, I always have dreams about London when it’s going to snow. I picture myself walking down cobblestone streets, wearing my hat and furry winter coat, and I picture myself window shopping, sitting in cafes sipping tea and writing, and wandering aimlessly taking in everything a second at a time. This dream feels so real in fact that I even say aloud, “I’ve finally gotten to travel. I’m finally here.” Then I wake up.
I get bitten by the travel bug the same time every year. I have always desired to travel, I think more than most. I actually waited much longer than most children to begin talking, and once I did I couldn’t stop talking about places I wanted to go. When I was three I announced to my mom that we should move to Africa. Why? Because it looks beautiful! I have wanted to go to Africa ever since. I dream of learning French and traveling all over France tasting wines, going to festivals, and reveling in a different world so unlike my own. I enjoy jumping out of my comfort zone, and this began a few years ago when I decided that I want to try everything at least once. I’ve wanted to sky dive since I was young (mostly because the idea of flying is something my childish personality wishes she could do. When I was a child I truly believed I had the ability to fly, but then again who didn’t?!). But what stuck with me the most was something my grandfather told me. He was a pilot in the navy and he also dreamed of flying. As a child he would will himself to dream about soaring over houses and trees while watching the world below. He said it was the most liberating feeling. After a while he could will himself to dream the same dream every night (he has some pretty incredible powers!). After that I knew I wanted this ability too, but as I grew up the childish magic wears off and reality strikes. The only time I had flown was either in a plane (which is kind of the opposite of liberating…can we say extra leg room, please?) or in a dream (and I couldn’t agree more with my grandfather, those dreams are the best!) and when someone swore that skydiving was the closest you ever felt to flying I promised myself that I would try it for myself. As I grew older the opportunity presented itself. My better half asked what I wanted for my birthday and I firmly stated “skydiving!” At first he thought this was reckless and a bit stupid, but then he realized that the part of me that wanted this so badly was the same part that is still that five year old jumping from trees and wishing desperately to sprout wings. And I did sprout my wings…uhm, or a parachute that is. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It was the freest I ever felt, the wind in my face, the dissociative sensation of floating. I now know what Thoreau meant by transcendental. I felt so small and it was liberating and humbling at the same time.
There is only one tiny issue that tends to burst my travel bubble, and that’s money. It’s always lingering around, reminding me that it’s lonely and would like more friends. Well let me tell money something, I would like more too! But I am dedicated to making 2011 my travel year. It’s my time! By then my credit card should be paid off (with any luck!) and I will be free to save my money for my own wants, and that is thrilling to me.
I have also thrown a new job option into the ring and that’s travel writing/photography. It’s a great contender! However it’s a small niche and difficult to break into, and you kinda have to travel in order to be a real travel writer, so I have my fingers crossed that I will travel my way into a career. Again my Sagittarius spirit becomes restless every couple of weeks and I jump from one dream job to the next. One month I’m completely dedicated to my acting career, and the next I’m dying to be a photographer for a newspaper or a cake decorator or shoe designer. But I’m not alone in this fleeting job hunt. Apparently a lot of artists feel this way.
I got the opportunity to meet Thomas Arvid, perhaps the most incredible painter I have ever seen. His work speaks for itself. The first time I saw his artwork I couldn’t believe it wasn’t a photograph. I had the good fortune to actually speak with him when I was in California. He is a kind and humble artist who took more time with me than I could have ever expected. I was on Cloud 9 all the way home. In our conversation I asked how he came to be the artist he is today and he said that he had jumped back and forth between artistic jobs and couldn’t settle. He loved playing an instrument, he enjoyed his music, he wanted to paint everything, and he threw out a couple other jobs he had contemplated. I told him of my similar plight and he said that I have to figure out what job I can’t live without. What other jobs could I reject and be able to accept that they aren’t in my life? What job would make up for the other jobs that I discarded? What artistic aspect of my professional work do I not want to forfeit? It was sage advice and while it hasn’t led me to make my final decision just yet, it constantly whispers in my ear every time I contemplate another career path. Just the fact that his statement rings out every time I consider my place in the working world really shows how much of an impact he made. I only hope that I can quiet my mind enough to figure out what I cannot live without and stop trying to be the person who needs to do everything. If you have even one love in your life as a career, than you’re lucky enough!
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